This is for me, not you.

I just need to write down the events of yesterday because I still find them odd.

Totals:
2 police calls
1 domestic violence assault
1 hit and run
1 weirdo
1 bomb squad
1 drunk man screaming

so first, we wanted some stain for our shelves so we could finally put them up. Sherwin Williams was closed so I thought if I just hopped on the 5-N I would run into a Home Depot or Lowe's somewhere. I got off the expressway around where I thought I had remembered seeing a Target and figured big business must be everywhere near that area. After driving around I spotted a hardware store but it was closed. nik saw a wireless cafe next door and suggested we pull in the lot and figure out where we were (our computers were on us). So I backed into the hardware store lot and put my car in park. BAM! All of a sudden I'm hit and I have no idea where it came from. So I look and some old fruit in a pick-up had backed into my car. I knew I wasn't moving and his window was blocked so it was obvious to me whose fault it was. We both got out of the car and my car had no damage and his was old and crappy looking as is. Considering it was his fault nik was like, "our car looks fine, does yours have any damage?" and the guy is like "PROBABLY! What the hell are you doing here? This is private property!!" he is in my face and then nik's face screaming at the top of his lungs. I was fed up and called the police because he was writing down my plates and saying he was reporting it. So I called it in and as I was on the phone he drove off really fast. I knew he worked or owned the hardware store and had his plate number. The dispatcher said it was a hit-and-run and she would send someone out. Remember, we were fine with letting him go, we didn't have any damage. So we are standing around waiting.

nik is anxious about the guy being up in her face, we really thought we were going to scrap with this motherfucker. So she asks this kid nearby for a cigarette. No cigarettes. But he was too excited to have someone to talk to he decided to come keep us company at the car. This kid, who probably hadn't showered in a week and had nasty patches of hair all over his face begins explaining how he "punched some bitch out after she slammed into the bumper of his Lincoln Navigator that his dad bought brand new for him". I assumed he was full of shit and got back in the car and shut the door. I wasn't feeling talkative, I was pissed about the crazy old man that hit us. nik felt bad for the kid and stayed outside and talked to him. About 45 minutes pass, still no cops. Kid is still there. She asks him where a convenience store nearby is and he offers to walk her. About 2 blocks away they notice the streets are blocked up because of a bomb situation and the dumb kid walks up to the bomb squad guy who is crouched over a package with a camera and is bugging him about what is going on. nikkii takes off and tries to ditch the dumb fuck but he catches up. Now it's going on about an hour and fifteen minutes. No cops, gross blackhead kid still lingering. nikkii gets in the car and he comes up to the window and just STANDS there. She opens the window and he asks to count our change. He counts it. I want to kill him. Then he spots our camera and wont shut up about how much it cost, where we got it. He takes nikkii's phone and is playing with it. He is touching everything. Finally after 2 hours of waiting the cops arrive and in 2 minutes they write up the report and we go to leave and the kid is eyeing up the semi-automatic assault rifle in the cop car. He has his head in the car and I'm trying to make sure this cop knows we don't know who the fuck this moron is. Finally we get in the car and say bye and the kid is like "don't I get to make a report?" (remember, he didn't see ANYTHING). nik was like, I don't think you need to and he looked sad as we drove off, like he wanted us to wait forever so he could annoy the fuck out of us. We leave and go home.

after dinner we go to the cafe for internet. When we get home nik realizes she left her phone there and they close in 15 minutes. We jumped in the car and drove up there as quick as possible. Some fucker calls me a bitch because he was standing (not walking) in the crosswalk and I was stopped waiting for him. After getting the phone, nikkii wants to kick the kids ass because we are tired and cranky. Instead at a stop light we hear a loud SMACK. We look over and this older guy has hit this woman and is yanking her by the collar of her jacket. nikkii yelled "leave her alone I'm calling the police!". She calls 911 and reports it, and the two start walking down the road. The guy turns around and looks at us, grabs his balls and says "suck it bitch". We are both furious now. We stayed on his trail and then three cops pulled up. After a huge ordeal involving them calling us until 1am, they arrested him. We were both exhausted and stressed and took Xanax so we could sleep. As we start to fall asleep we both hear "FUCK YOU BITCH! FUCK YOU! YOU FUCKING WHORE!" I am in domestic violence mode and think someone is getting hit. nik looks out the window and some guy is screaming. I asked her if he hit someone. So after about 15 minutes of him screaming we go out on the patio, because we are Midwesterners and it wasn't like we could sleep anyways. Someone in a window yells for him to shut up and he responds with his original "fuck you bitch". He starts kicking signs and throws a newsstand over. Then he gets really mad and SWINGS around a tree and holds on a pole and starts swinging it back and forth. nik and I are crouched down on our balcony laughing so hard we could hardly keep quiet. So we do what every person from Michigan does, put our clothes on and went outside to watch. At 2am we are barefoot in downtown Seattle following a drunk guy down the road who is stomping around in his flipflops. Finally we went home and called it a night. Slept well until the 7am trash pick-up came for a good 30 minutes.

oh, today was good.