tired

sorry it has been so long since we've updated. today is the first day i feel up to being on my computer. more updates to come soon.

P.S.

I'm not saying that I'm very angsty these days. That last post was partially to motivate me to get off my ass and feel something again. The news doesn't surprise me anymore and I've come to expect the unbelievable bullshit from Bush and his cowboy friends in office. So mostly, I'm pissed at myself for not being more pissed at the way things are.

Incase you haven't noticed, the chipping away of my apathy has caused me to be stuck in my head a lot (thus, the need to write blogs every 10 seconds).

United States of Apathy

I always think that the Bush administration couldn't possibly get away with anything else. I always think... this time, they are busted. I always think, 'oh this will totally get him impeached.' And then today I read this article.

My thought now is what WON'T they get away with? Seriously, they ignore a subpoena for documents, pardon Libby from serving time in prison, start a war that doesn't even have an active plan for any foreseeable ending, and yet Paris Hilton goes to jail for 30 days over driving intoxicated. I don't agree with drunk driving by any means, but it seems the damage she caused is miniscule in comparison. I find it funny that the court has to prove that famous people have to be held accountable in the case of Paris Hilton or Martha Stewart, but Libby gets out of his sentence and we write it off as another dirty move in the Bush administration.

Jesus fucking christ people, what else do they have to do to get your attention?

9 more days.

So forgive me again for yet another cryptic post about this date. Most of the people who read this probably know exactly what I'm talking about, but just incase I am still going to remain relatively discreet. I should be at least a little bit worried, but I'm not. A couple of people have asked me if I am getting nervous, because they are. I probably should be a little bit. I guess there is no good reason to stress out. Stress just gives me physical ailments like headaches and stomach problems, so I see no real benefit of bringing that about.

I sort of had a slight melt down the other night. Not about this date, but just a lot of overly built up stress from the last month or so of non-stop activity. It was one of the first nights I had to myself to just relax and I think my brain spilled over the edge a bit. Anyways, I honestly don't even remember much of what I was freaking out about anymore. I feel much better and this weekend really helped Nik and I wind down from all of the chaos of the month of June.

The weather was effing amazing this weekend. Nik and I walked over to Cal Anderson, which looked like a beach with so many people laying around, playing frisbee and walking their dogs. We laid in the grass and I read really bad feminist poetry I picked up from Vivace Coffee. The sun felt so great. Afterwards, we walked around Broadway and came home. Actually we did that today too. We didn't lay in the grass today, because the pesticides or something made us itchy. I really love Cal Anderson. It's quiet, despite being in the city. The bums don't bother me. The jocks don't bother me. The drug addicts huddle under trees. The kids play on the playground or in the fountain. The field looks surreal to me sometimes. I don't mean to sound so cheesy, but it gives me a sense of peace that I only ever got from this cemetary by my parents house that I would ride my bike to as a kid. The park is quite simply the biggest mix of people you can find. Homeless, drug addicts, dykes, gay boys, overly serious tennis players, baseball players, soccer players, basketball groups, moms and babies, dad's and kids, teenagers with greasy hair and ill-fitted clothes, club-goers, hippies in circles, siblings, elderly people, leather daddies and sports rejects having fun despite sucking.

I have no idea why i am writing all of this. I am relaxed for the first time in awhile. I also thought I should write that the countdown from quite awhile ago is nearing it's end.